Keanu Reeves Refuses to Present Whoopi Goldberg’s Lifetime Achievement Award: “She’s Not a Good Person”

Reeves was chosen to present this year’s Lifetime Achievement award by the TV Production Committee, a role he was honored to take on…until he heard that he’d have to share the stage and present the award to Whoopi Goldberg.

“She’s not a nice person,” said Reeves in a voice that almost sounded like he was addressing Rufus outside the Circle K, “I don’t want to be remembered as the guy who made that mistake.”

Justin Timberlake, Wynona Ryder, and Gloria Estefan also declined. They’re still waiting to hear back from Jackie and Kelso, who desperately need something different to happen in their lives, but nobody seems to be able to find them.

“We believe those two are probably in a ravine somewhere after losing their social media following to the worst apology video ever recorded,” said Ravine Captain Joe Barron of the 136th Marine Paralegal Unit, “We’re just gonna start here in LA and go from ravine to ravine until we find them.”

Others believe that they may also be in a shallower thing, such as a ditch or even a puddle, but everyone agrees they are likely dead from embarrassment, joining their careers. Topher Grace was unavailable for comment, once again leaving his dignity intact.

 

Related Posts

EMBRACE YOUR CONFIDENCE AND SENSUALITY

Embrace your confidence and sensuality, proving that true beauty knows no age. Mature women, with their life experiences, exude a unique charm that captivates and mesmerizes. For…

Shannen Doherty’s mom Rosa fulfills late actress’ dying wish: ‘I am now going to be doing my best’

Rosa explained how much the podcast meant to Shannen “because it allowed her to tell her story and tell her truth.” “I wanna do this, and I…

Marlo Thomas speaks out after ‘beloved’ husband Phil Donahue’s death: ‘I lost my sweetheart’

Thomas went on to explain she would be taking a break from social media to “take care of myself and the many people who took care of…

‘1000-Lb. Sisters’ star Tammy Slaton reveals staggering 500-pound weight loss

In the clip, one by one seven women walk into the frame and as each one joins the others, a number signifying how much weight they have…

Meghan Markle’s direct order to Prince Harry during Colombia tour revealed by lip reader

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle were said to have made certain royals furious with their trip to Nigeria earlier this year. With their current visit to Colombia,…

17-year-old Prom King found dead just one hour after being reported missing

The Water Rescue team is said to have recovered the teen’s body in 15 to 20 feet of water. Ayden was pronounced dead at the scene. Compounding…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *