“I’ve been so against it – just ’cause the things I saw in my childhood,” she explained. “So against, like any kind of form of medication … I’m like, ‘No there’s gotta be a better way of like, talking to someone, figuring this out.’ … I don’t want to numb myself.”

But the American Idol alum said she put aside her pride and took the antidepressant because “my thing was, I just can’t smile anymore for America right now. I’m not happy and I need help.”

“And it was honest to God, the greatest decision ever. I wouldn’t have made it [without it].”

“I handled what I couldn’t handle then and now I have time and space and I took like the whole summer off … It was a really good lesson in like, you need to put your ego aside … Someone’s trying to help you. Listen.”